This Content Is Only For Subscribers
.Why is it that most people think change takes too long? On reason, obviously, is that most people have tried again and again through will power to make changes and failed. The assumption that they then make it that important changes must take a long time and be very difficult to make. In reality, it I only difficult because most of us do not know how to change. We do not have an effective strategy.
The second reason we do not change quickly is that in our culture, we have a set of belief that prevents us from being able to utilize our own inherent abilities. Culturally, we link negative associations to the idea of instant change. For most, instant change means you never really had a problem at all. If you can change that easily, why do not you change, a week ago, a moth age, a year ago and stop complaining?
For example, how quickly could a person recover from the loss of a loved one and begin to feel differently? Physically, they have the capability to do it the next morning. But they do not. Why? Because we have a set of belief in our culture that we need to grieve for a certain period of time. How long do we have to grieve? It all depends upon yours own conditioning. Think about this. If the next day after you lost a loved one, you did not grieve, would not that causal a great deal of pain in your life? First, people would immediately believe you did not care about the love on you lost. And, based on cultural conditioning, you might begin to believe that you did not care, either. The concept of overcome death this easily is just too painful. We choose the pain grieving rather than changing our emotions until we satisfied that our rules and cultural standards about what is appropriate have been met.
In fact, there are three specific belief about responsibility that a person must have if they are going to create long term change.
First we must believe, something must change, not that it should change, and not that it could or ought to, but that it absolutely must. So often I hear people say, this weight should come off. But you know, we can should all over ourselves and our life still would not change. It is only when something becomes a must that we begin the process of truly dong what is necessary to shift the quality of our lives.
Second, we must not only believe that things must change, but we must believe, I must change it. We must see ourselves as the source of the change. Otherwise, we will always be looking for someone else to make the changes for us and we will always have someone else to blame when it does not work out.
Third, we have to believe, I can change it. Without believing that it is possible for us to change. We stand no chance of carrying through on our desires.
